Nick's Log: Aug.22,2020

 A miracle happened on this day. Way back in 1980 a baby was born via an emergency C-section. When the Mother to be entered the hospital, the nurses didn't believe she was even pregnant! See her child was coming 3 months before his due date! The Drs. gave a 50% chance of surviving, and if he did, he'd be in and out of the hospital most his life, or mentally handicapped. That was the first miracle of my life, and God's hand continued to stay on me 40 years later!! I was thinking back on my life today and was dumbfounded at the reckless love of God! He was there with me protecting me from sickness. Even before I asked Jesus to come into my heart in 1992. Father God was guiding me calling me to the ministry in 7th grade..I think. I have memory problems, #1 from being born premature, #2 if y'all ever meet Mom, well DNA is also where I may have gotten the issues! Love you Momma! I was in Mrs. Wolf's English class when I heard the Holy Spirit call me to preach His gospel. Yet I turned away from God and walked my own way. Practicing Witchcraft, homosexual acts, lustful acts...all the while the Holy Spirit was speaking, saying stop, come back to Me..yet I ignored Him. I listened to a point. If I hadn't, what I was accused of would have actually happened and probably much worse cuz I was consumed with lust by that point. Thank God for His Spirit! See, even through all the abuse throughout my life, the wrong decisions, the pain I caused, Jesus was there. Crying out through the Holy Spirit drawing me back to Himself because He still and always will love me! Do y'all realize no matter where you are, how far away you've gone from Jesus Christ, He STILL loves you! Jesus came to earth and died for all our sins..get this..while we were still sinners!( Romans 5:8). I'll tell you what, THAT is love y'all! Hallelujah!! Jesus meets you where we are and lifts us from the pits of sin! Cory Asbury sings a song titled Reckless Love. Verse two says " When I was your foe, still Your Love fought for me, You have been so, so good to me. When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me. You have been so, so kind to me." Look up this song and listen. It's the life story song of any one who has Jesus as Lord and Savior!

2nd Chance Citizen

 "Oh I remember when so and so was in jail all the time!" Or " I knew you back when you were drinking and sleeping around." Have you heard or said these words before? Did you know Satan wants to keep us in the past? You allowed yourself to be a mouthpiece of Satan by saying these words! Hey, I'm talking to myself here too! As humans we don't want to give second chances do we? " Well Nick you don't know how much he/ she hurt me!" Let me ask you...How much did we hurt the God that breathed the very life into us by not accepting Jesus into our hearts? He longs to have a relationship with YOU! Jesus went to the cross to die...for you to be able to have a relationship with Him so that you are justified and forgiven and made a new creation! Hallelujah!! I know what it's like first hand. I have a cousin who's been in and out of prison most his life. I always said, I guess once a felon always a felon! Are you treating anyone in your life like this? Maybe you've got an ex who is in prison for the 3rd time. You talk crazy about them to your parents or new husband and your child hears it. Yes, your child, the one whose Parent is in prison. How do you think your kid would react? Now this person who is locked up says they've changed their ways, but you think, you've heard that before! You don't want your child talking to this person! I mean you're only protecting the child right!? WRONG. If you claim Jesus as Lord, you must forgive. Even though your relationship with your ex was terminated, that doesn't mean the child's should be also! Matter of fact, you may be harming your child and causing bitterness to take root. Not bitterness toward the one in prison, but towards you! Here is a saying that I've seen proved true, " Hurting people, hurt people." All are sinners and fall short of the Glory of God, but God sent His Son, while we were yet sinners so we could have eternal life! (Romans 3:23 & 5:8) So, think about this y'all. A Holy, Righteous God, made a Way for all mankind to have an intimate relationship with Him. We, as followers of Christ are now His children! He gave us a second chance, should we not do the same for others?

Snapshot of Our Past

I just received a picture of Ms. Mandi and I from back in high school... well, 9th grade..pretty sure that's high school..Anyhow, when I first saw it I had feelings of joy and the memory of how I felt at that time hit me like a train. I'll tell you, seeing me with lots of hair on my head was a shocker, and Mandi as a blonde..well..I liked her hair natural, or purple... I guess, only cuz she likes it though. HA I never thought I'd talk about what I'm about to say..You see, Mandi was my first real girlfriend... sorry Karen...she was my first kiss, first love. I was reminded of how things used to be. The way we treated each other , with love and respect, trusting the other to not judge our secret thoughts, to not make fun of how we acted or talked, or looked. What could've been poured through my mind like a flood. Then on top of that the stupid mistakes of my past, from breaking up with her, all the way to how I treated my wife and kid/ step kids. The devil was whispering in my ear of what a failure I was. The people I'd hurt, saying they will never be healed. They'll harbor hate forever in their hearts and struggle the rest of their lives. It hurt to be reminded of the past mistakes. Thinking, man if only I'd of stayed with Mandi instead of looking for " the next best thing" and allowing the new felt desire for sexual intimacy to overwhelm and confuse me, then I wouldn't have made all the bad choices and not be locked up out of my child's life till he's an adult! It hit me right then. God spoke to my inner most being. He said, if you had stayed with her, you wouldn't have Caleb. She wouldn't have her 3 boys. She also wouldn't have the testimony of My forgiving love. She wouldn't have the relationship with Me as she has now, not having gone through her own hurts and betrayals. You wouldn't have gone through those bad choices, choosing over and over to turn and ignore My voice. You would not have hurt the people you loved, which means you would not have gone to the depths of sin that you needed to in order to have the testimony and relationship you have with Me, my beloved son. Your past pain, caused by others, the pain you caused because of that pain, without it you would never know how to relate to survivors of abuse, and the abusers! See y'all, God can and will use those hurts to bring us closer to Him! He will allow us to choose to make the wrong choices, and receive the consequences for those actions too! God chastises the ones He loves! I thank God He does! I wouldn't have such a deep, intimate relationship with Father God except by the trials I went through as a child and a man! It took my surrender and forgiveness of the people who hurt me and forgiving myself for the pain I caused, which took around a year. My friends, you can be free from your past mistakes! Jesus is the key to that freedom! Give Him your life and see!
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Words that Cut

It's been a while since I just talked about what's going on in the joint..hahaha Sorry y'all, I couldn't resist! I'll tell you what, I'm learning all kinds of new words and phrases! For instance, a CHOMO is a term used to call one a child molester. That to me is proof that ignorance runs rampant along with the " pack" mentality. A word that slanders/ cuts down another human...and yet it makes zero sense grammatically speaking! I'm no expert in grammar dangit, but even I can see there's a problem in that application! Child. Molester. Where does the CHO come into play!? Am I just stupid? But inmates and staff alike continue to throw that term like a dagger at individuals in here. I wonder if they realize how their words affect the ones they're trying to cut down? OK. So you made a wrong choice and maybe it went on for years, is there no redemption for you, but for a person who " only dealt drugs, or drove drunk taking a life, or murdered" there is redemption!? Every one of us are sinners. Jesus came to seek and save the lost!( Matthew 18:11). I didn't plan on talking about this, I was going to speak on the being fed 1.5 times a day and the atmosphere inside these walls..HA. However, as humans and most assuredly, followers of Jesus, we must always be mindful of the words we speak.James 2:12-13 gives a grave warning to His children, it says " So speak and so act as those who are to be judged by the law of liberty. For judgement will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgement." (NASB) As followers of Christ, we must always show mercy to those around us, even to the ones who've hurt us. Jesus said to pray for your enemy. The words that were spoken to me, even in my youth, I still struggle with to this day. The way my ex wife Jerri spoke to me still effects how I react to situations. That's one reason why I'm writing pretty much how I talk. She made fun of my accent all the time, but those words hold no power over who I am. They don't control my thoughts. So, in knowing this, I put it into practice by speaking and writing just the way I am and it don't matter if anyone makes fun of me cuz your opinion of me is exactly that...yours! My point, are your words and actions lining up with Whom you claim as Lord of your life? God is Love. If you have any bitterness in your heart due to old wounds, you must be willing to release them to God and allow the Holy Spirit to heal your broken heart and mind. Then you will be free! " Let your speech at all times be gracious( pleasant and winsome), seasoned [as it were] with salt, [ so that you may never be at a loss] to know how you ought to answer anyone [ who puts a question to you].Col.4:6 (AMP)

Sept. 11th, 2001

 A day that will be remembered for generations. I'm not one to commemorate past events. Only because I don't remember the past! However, I do remember where I was that horrid day. My best friend and I were on the eastern side of PA at a park when the first tower was struck. We had no cell reception, so my Mom was getting really worried cuz she couldn't get a hold of me. When we did what we went there to do, we saw on the TV the hateful acts of terror. We then high tailed it back home in record time. As a follower of Christ we are called to forgive. We are called to not only love our enemies, but pray for them! Islam is a religion of peace. Yet the few who took over those planes twisted their religion and used it to justify the murder of all those people. Did you know there was a guy in the Bible who did the same thing? He went and dragged people out of their homes, sentencing them to prison and death by stoning! He thought in his own prideful mind that he was doing God's will! The first martyr in the Bible was Stephen. " ..Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul" . " And Saul approved of their killing him." (Act7:58b & 60b) Y'all that man was the Apostle Paul! He met Jesus on the road to Damascus and was forever changed from the killer, Saul, to the Apostle Paul. God can change you and redeem you! If He calls you, He will use you! Those evil things you've done, or endured, God will use for your good! As Paul wrote in Romans 8:35-39, Absolutely nothing can ever separate us from the Love of God who are in Christ! (paraphrased) In verse 28 he states " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Glory to God! Even through the storms in life, God is there! That terror filled day those many years ago, He was there. Giving comfort, and taking His children home to live with Him eternally! Are you offended? Are you bitter at that ex? Do you hate that abuser? Forgive quickly. One thing September 11, taught me was to forgive. And do it fast, because we really don't know how long we have on this earth!

Faith is the Victory!

Hebrews 11:13-16 says; " All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had an opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them." The people who are referred to in this text were, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Abraham, whose name was changed from Abram when God promised him he'd be the father of many nations. See, Abraham was 100 years old and had no children by his wife. Yet he trusted in God's Word. He knew God's Word was His bond. Even though Abraham didn't live to see the many nations, God delivered, and continues to deliver on that covenant daily. Anytime a person says " YES" to Jesus as Lord and Savior, they are added to the spiritual ancestors along the line of Abraham. Our very salvation is faith! What is faith you may ask? The Word says it plainly in Hebrews 11:1" " Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5:7 " we live by faith not by sight." Although we didn't see Jesus on this earth in bodily form. We never sat at His feet to listen to Him teach, preach and heal. Not seeing Him be beat, bleeding and crucified. Or saw Him be risen from the grave, yet we believe! That's the faith that saves you! That's the faith that moves mountains!: Marriage on the rocks? Trust in Jesus! Addiction you can't break? Trust in Jesus! Feeling like you're stuck in a deep pit of despair? Trust in Jesus! Faith y'all! Faith IS the Victory that overcomes the world! Glory to God!! There's nothing we can do to save ourselves. Only Christ has the power. No ritual or work of our hands! Put your trust in Jesus right now! He's holding out His nail pierced hand for you to take it and be free!