Sitting here watching Hillsong Worship which I do often and let me just be real. I've done this for years, as I watch I hope that I see the faces of Jerri, Valerie, Natalie, and Cindy. I am praying while watching and listening to the Praise and Worship music. Praying that one day I see the faces of the one's I've hurt with upturned faces and lifted hands worshiping our Father God. Even my sister. I used to love watching her praise God in that little country church! Her face shining bright singing her little heart out. I long to see that again. See y'all, I know what it's like to live in the ruts and pits of your past. The shame and regret and anger. The bitterness you may feel every day you wake up. Thinking why did this happen to me!? Why did God let this happen!? I will never forgive whoever it was that hurt me! Beloved friends, it doesn't have to be that way! Why is it that I thank God for not only the salvation, but the victorious life in Christ that these women will live? It's because salvation saves your spirit, and the Word shows you how to live victoriously through Christ Jesus. If the preachers that preached in our church ever did a sermon on how to live victoriously, it never took with me I figure! So, now I'm here in prison, because of the physical and sexual abuse I went through and how it shaped my thought process . I am also now, able to show you the way to victory! I've lived through the pain. And I am stronger for it! Jesus IS the way! He is the way out of the darkness that threatens to consume you! He can ease the burdens you've carried for years! The abuse you endured is NOT your fault! You can let the past go. Forgive yourself ( I know I had to), for allowing it to happen to me and for me allowing myself to repeat it. " Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you, Do not let your hearts be troubled, nor let it be fearful."(John 14:27) Forgiveness is good for you, period. Matthew 6:14-15 states;" For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." That abuser will no longer have sway over your thoughts or feelings. The betrayal you feel can be healed. The weight you carry will be lifted! That's why I pray to see these people worshiping God! He IS love! He IS peace! Put your trust in Him today and dive into His Word! Let it transform you and mold you into a Christ like mind! Do so today! No one knows how long they have left in earth and haven't you lived in pain long enough!?
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