The Battle in the Night

 Nighttime. I'd say that's the most difficult time for us inmates. Maybe some of you out there in the free world feel the same? When you're tired, right before falling asleep, or right when you wake. Most times the thoughts last for moments, tonight it was an all night battle! Seeing the holiday commercials with the families all together, watching Christmas movies on the Lifetime network, it all brought on these thoughts of shame and regret. The thought of " if only". So wishing I could have a " do over". The regret of my past mistakes weighing so heavy on me it hurt. How I failed as a Husband, Father, Step Father, heck, as a man! To be able to go back in time with the knowledge I have now of who I am and what Jesus did for me, I am literally a different man! Show my son and step daughters what a real man looks like, a man of God. A true protector. Loving and gentle. Not consumed with shame and the pains of his past. The "if onlys" coursing through my mind..it was a long night y'all! But I woke refreshed! I woke with joy and peace in my soul! The God we serve as followers of Christ is not a powerless object that we must make with our own hands in order to worship or to give life with our thoughts! He is alive! His Word is alive! He is called ELOHHIM; God, Creator, Mighty and Strong. He is Jehovah/ Yahweh; LORD. Specifies an immediacy, a presence. Jehovah- Jireh: The Lord will provide. Our provider! He is Jehovah- Rapha: Our healer! He is Jehovah- Nissi; our banner, our rallying place! He is the Great I AM! Beloved, as Christians we are promised by Father God to never be alone! He said " I will never leave you or forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) We can never have a " do over". What we can have is reconciliation via Jesus Christ. He is the God of reconciliation! He did so for us humans and Father God, and He can do so with the ones we've hurt in our lives. It's because of His Word that I woke refreshed. The Bible is The Word of God. It is alive and powerful!(Hebrews 4:12) Thank God for His Word and His Grace! It's that Grace that gives Hope of the future! There will come a day when the ones we've hurt will see us again. And my prayer from August of 2016 has been they will see what Christ has done in me. If you've been feeling abandoned by God. If your past mistakes overwhelm you, cry out to Jesus! He IS the answer! To those who call Him Lord of their lives, He IS there, right there living inside you! You are never alone. You are worthy of His Love because of Christ's blood on the cross. You've repented and asked forgiveness from God right? Well then you ARE forgiven and free from shame and condemnation! (Romans 8:1) Don't let Satan hold you in your past! Jesus is your present help and future hope! Trust in Him today!