What I wouldn't give just to hug my son! To see him laugh and smile. Just to sit and listen to him talk. But, because of my actions, the consequences are me being apart from Caleb. 11 years is a long time behind bars. I'll be honest, until a couple of weeks ago I thought I didn't deserve it, on the grounds that the mandatory part my time is based on falsehood. However, I deserve every day I got separated from society, family, and friends. After all, I DID break the law and I regret those actions severely. I'm sorry just ain't enough the way I figure. I believe that's why I talk about abuse and victimization, and most importantly, the freedoms that only Jesus Christ can give from all of that! You see, I've been there. Living my life as a victim. I didn't realize how damaged I was until it was too late. So deep into depravity, I saw no way out. I tried over and over to stop the thoughts of lust, to stop the actions that made me stink into a deeper pit. On that night I was "tricked" into going to the police station, well it was the night I was going to lay it all on the line and talk to the one I had abused. Now I pay the price for my actions and my inactions. By allowing myself to be in situations my way of thinking was twisted. However, God was still speaking. He was there calling my name. Thank God for His love and word! How I long for the ability to speak into my son's life, as do all inmates with children. We all make wrong choices. "For all have sinned and fell short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) John said in 1John1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." The Creator of the Universe says everyone who repents and accepts His Son, Jesus as Lord will be forgiven and made clean by the blood He shed on the cross! Please, give someone a second chance! Seek the face of God to soften your heart and teach you how to forgive. He forgave you. Will you too have forgiveness in you heart?
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